Dealing with yard politics

I've been told that the best decisions are often the hardest ones to make, and as the tears well up yet again, that's certainly ringing true for me this morning. For the first time in many years I'm without a horse to look after. Thankfully it's not for the saddest of reasons, although 2 elderly horses on my yard have gone that way in the past week :-( In my case, Bell has gone to live in her (rather excellent) retirement home. She was always on loan to me, and her owners Carol and Don have a lovely farm in the Chilterns where she can be turned out with her old friend Poppy, in a huge field with the most wonderful view, with a warm stable whenever she needs it, and she'll be doted on twice a day by Carol. I was feeling torn between spending time with Bell and spending time with Philip (who was 4 months old last week!), which meant that I permanently felt guilty, didn't enjoy my time with Bell, and she didn't get the quality attention she deserves. Philip hated sitting in the pushchair or being in the sling while I poo picked, so I'd end up rocking him to sleep so I had enough time to quickly hay, feed and do her field, and if I was lucky I'd be done before he woke up. I felt as though I was losing almost an entire morning every day just trying to 'get things done that have to be done' rather than making the most of the time we have. I can't see things getting any easier once I'm back at work, probably until he goes to school (and even then we haven't completely ruled out homeschooling!). So after much soul searching I decided it was best for all of us if Bell went backto live with Carol (I realise how lucky I am to have had this option). There are some Shetlands at the yard that Philip and I can play with, they're much more his size! And several kind friends have said that I can ride their horses whenever I want to. So I really am a very lucky lady!
People's attitudes to my decision have been interesting, and my emotions towards those attitudes even more so (thankfully Carol and Don, with several grandchildren, have been incredibly understanding). I imagine it must be similar to when one person on a yard makes a decision about how to work with their horse (for example, to follow Intelligent Horsemanship or Parelli, or to retire a horse from competition, or to stop riding their horse completely), and they experience a variety of reactions from the other liveries. Most people, especially mothers, have been very supportive, and for that I am very grateful. Some, usually not mothers, are bemused as to why I would feel the need to consider such a choice. Others, who have worked through it themselves and come out the other side, tell how they managed without having to decide one or the other (baby or horse). What's surprised me most is the feeling I can't get rid of that says 'How come those mums could do it and I can't?'.
It's essential to remember, of course, that every person and every horse is an individual. Usually if I delve deeper I hear 'My baby would alway be asleep by the time I'd pushed him from the car to the field' or 'I didn't actually do anything with my horse for the first 2 or 3 years', or something similar. Philip definitely isn't asleep by the time I get to the field, and Bell's 20 so if she's going to do nothing for a while she's better off in a big field with her friend. But why do I even feel the need to justify my decision?!
I've spent a lot of time over the years as a physio and IH Recommended Associate telling people it's fine to make the decisions they want to make, that they have the right to do so, and to try to rise above the yard politics that might cause them to doubt themselves. One horse who sticks in my mind more than most from that point of view is L, with her lovely owner J. L was a young 4yo mare who had never been the quietest to stand to mount, but had got significantly worse. I saw her regularly for maintenance physio, and I found that she was getting more sore at the same time as she was getting more difficult to ride. She was always better for a few days after her physio, but within 3 or 4 months she was bucking and prancing for the first 5 minutes of every ride, which was totally uncharacteristic of her. She was then fine for the rest of the ride, and so the general consensus of opinion on the yard was that she was being naughty and that J should get after her and make her behave herself. J wanted to give the vet a call, and I supported her in this decision, and eventually she decided to go against the majority and stick up for her own horse and her own beliefs. It wasn't easy, but she was very glad she did - L turned out to have early hock arthritis and after an injection to relieve the pain her 'bad' behaviour stopped instantly and completely!
So back to the title of this post - dealing with yard politics. You know your horse better than most others. Trust your instinct and stand up for your rights. You don't have to justify your decisions to anyone except yourself and your horse. And don't be surprised if there are tears along the way, because the best decisions are often the hardest ones to make.